Monday, October 06, 2008
i won't be remembered or missed, so there's not much for me to miss or remember.
due to some binding agreeements made, i'm bounded to some censorship rules. even till next year, i think i'll still be bound to it. i don' t find the idea of a legal suit amusing.
whatever. let me see, what did i plan to blog about today?
out of the four years, i had two forgettable years. by the end of that two years, i already told myself that i only came there to study. and a lot of people tell me those two years are the best two years of their lives. fine. then the next two years came along, and recently finished. it was better and more memorable than the first two years. but still, i didn't come out of it all without a price.
let's face it, in everything that i do, i have to depend on myself alone. it has always been that way. maybe it had to do with me being the eldest. or maybe it simply had to do with what i've went through. i started to realize that i had to grow up in primary four after a certain event. that was when i realized i had to mature if i want to see myself actually move on and become a stronger person.
then i came in to an alien environment. i thought it would rock, or at the very least be interesting. it didn't take me that long to realise that the culture doesn't fit me. to put it harshly, i didn't fit in at all. now you see why there are two forgettable years of my life? got promoted to the senior level. things became better and i really liked things the way they are. then i got myself into some issue that i probably should have forced myself to back out of, but guess i was too gullible to snap out of it. until now, that is.
but like the saying goes, life isn't a fairytale. in fact, fairytale is a whole load of bull by itself because it doesn't make sense at all. things happened, people changed, promises broken. at the end of it all, i find it hard to trust anyone else in my life except for a few that i can count on one hand. i was sick of the lies, the empty promises, the empty support and the betrayals. anyone can come up with an impressive arrangement of words. but the sincerity in the words are shown in the things that are done or not done.
i know nobody's gonna read this, much more care. but if one fine day they're trawling through the web and come across this cos they have nothing better to read, fine. to all those who are trying to fish around for rumours about me or to simply infer from them, i am so sorry to disappoint you; i've cut short your supply. the only recent interesting thing you can talk about is the person i am now.
i've changed. i've had enough of giving in and lowering my pride for the better good of the general public at the expense of myself, letting people take me for granted and chuck me when there's no need for me. to all these people who have played a huge role in turning me into who i am today, thank you. if it wasn't for you people, i wouldn't have come to realize once again that i am left on my own to deal with my own destiny. thank you for making me realise that it's time to stop giving and start taking, and time to make anyone who dare to make use of me pay. thank you for making me realise as well that in this world full of backstabbers, liars, betrayers and traitors, there's no place for the weak.
7:32 pm
