Saturday, February 09, 2008
if the approaching of valentine's day is anything to go by... well, it's not exactly eventful. more on that later. but random advertising: anybody wanna do nice frame-ups for their photos for V-Dae, please approach me. i feel like photo-editing nowadays. even the frames are in place.
back to the topic. the approaching of V-Dae. eventful for my friends (in the not-so-happy sense), less than eventful for me. both of them aren't exactly facing the ideal V-Dae situation; one's bf is insensitive, one's gf isn't acting like his gf. had the MSN Convention for the past two days, and i'm not too sure if whatever was talked about got absorbed. it's hard for me to see them like this.
dollah, ingat diskusi kita. stand up for your rights! perjuangkan hak kau sebagai matair dia!
petom, kekal tabah, aite? seandainya dia masih macam gitu jugak next thursday, kasi tahu aku alamat dia. biar aku pergi sembur dia sebelum aku hantar dia crash course.
on my part, well. i can't say much, can i? i don't deny. there were more than one instances where i felt that i should just tell, i should just admit it. but i know there'll be awkwardness after that - i don't want what happened in the past to repeat itself. sometimes i think i'm kidding myself; that i can keep this feeling inside and just keep it within me, even if let's say, i'm like inches away to losing him from my life? i'd be lying if i say that i've never thought about how it'll be at year's end. how i'd say goodbye - if i get the chance to say goodbye at all. how i'll force myself to let him go and forget him if he's lawfully someone else's. whether i should admit to him in the end or just keep silent about it. it seems like months away, but i know it's not too far away. i know it's imminent.
i know that people will tell me not to think too far ahead, not to think about it. but i can't. everytime i see and hear all the hype about V-Dae, all i can think of is he'll be gone soon enough. on surface, technology sounds like the answer. but there'll always be a missing something.
The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
1:16 am
