Thursday, January 03, 2008
second day of school. no comments.
ended up thinking through a lot of things the whole day in school. and yeah, despite the coolness of sitting at the back of the class near the window (my preferred seat anywhere, with one of the reasons being teachers always don't really care and i'm free to do whatever i want) and the chilly wind blowing in, i was... mentally not in class.
what did i do? chipped in to listen once in a while. otherwise finishing up my former-doodling-and-now-drawing. it looked like something that i would have drawn a few months back. but i got the inspiration from A's drawings and friendster shoutout. unique, in a way. i guess after running into A again, it sort of opened up a different side of me: i can actually draw.
at the same time i got an idea to do my next doodling. it's a bit depressing, but that's what i'm feeling, that's how my situation is/was. i don't usually doodle - even if i doodle, it's only some random leaves and swirls (my trademark, so if you see some papers with that on it, most probably it's mine) bordering song lyrics and stuffs. but somehow, this year..it's different. it takes a long time to write - thinking through whether you should write it out included. somehow, after running back into A, it just...sort of let me express myself differently. but whatever the case, these works are personal. so if i show it to you, then great. if i don't, then just shut up and sit there.
but for those who got the chance and will have the chance to see my doodlings, well... there's always a story behind it. there's always a part of my life hidden amongst the doodling. that's why these doodlings mean a lot to me. whether it's commemoration, whether it's hidden pain, whether it's uncertainty...it's just how i view my situation.
heard this song on the radio. guess it somehow made me think of L. i won't lie; there were instances in school when i wondered how he's faring. so when i heard this song amidst my confusion in the late afternoon, i guess it fits.
(excerpts from Aku Tak Biasa [
I'm Not Used To It] by
Alda)
{translations in bold}
Aku tak biasa, bila tiada kau di sisiku
Im not used to it, when you're not by my sideAku tak biasa, bila ku tak mendengar suaramu
I'm not used to it, when i don't hear your voiceAku tak biasa, aku tak biasa
I'm not used to it, I'm just not used to it___________________________________________for A...well.. i'm stuck. i do think of him, wonder how he is. hoping that he's doing great. and contemplating what i should do. i'm just confused.
Cinta Dalam Hati (
Love In The Heart) by Ungu
mungkin ini memang jalan takdirku
maybe it's fated that my road's like thismengagumi tanpa di cintai
admiring without being lovedtak mengapa bagiku asal kau pun bahagia
but that's okay to me as long as you're happydengan hidupmu, dengan hidupmu
with your life, with your lifetelah lama kupendam perasaan itu
i've kept this feeling for so longmenunggu hatimu menyambut diriku
waiting for your heart to accept metak mengapa bagiku cintaimu pun adalah
but that's okay cos to me loving you isbahagia untukku, bahagia untukku
happiness for me, happiness for mereff:
ku ingin kau tahu diriku di sini menanti dirimu
i want you to know that i'm here waiting for youmeski ku tunggu hingga ujung waktuku
even if i have to wait till my life's enddan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanya
and hoping that this feeling will last foreverdan ijinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja
and allow me to hug you just this one timetuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya
to say goodbye foreverdan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untuk sekejap saja
and let in this happiness even for a whilerepeat reff
___________________________________________
11:03 pm
