Tuesday, November 13, 2007
went to catch a movie with Vaish and Jing Li just now. The Game Plan was okay.. pretty touching towards the end. it's one of those feel good movies, anyway. then ate at LJS and received Rid's SMS, stating that our outing was cancelled after it was repeatedly delayed. then found out i'm fucking broke; i don't have value in my EZ-Link card or my prepaid. when i reached woodlands, i was torn between buying a cosmetic brush set from chameleon or top up my prepaid. i opted for the latter. then saw that the queue at Singtel was bloody fucking long, so dropped the whole idea and went home.
for some random reason, i am just so mad at _. i don't know why; i'm just so mad at _. tried to sit down and try to reason out with myself why. i just don't know. maybe i'm just so mad that i can't do anything about It. or maybe i'm just venting my pissed off-ness over god-knows-what on _.
or maybe i'm just so mad at you for letting me fall in love with you. sometimes i try to hate you for it, but i just end up realising that i can't hate you more than i love you.and wtff. sometimes i don't know why i bothered to come online.
i'm torn between waiting for you and just forgetting the whole deal.you know, sometimes i just feel like i need to talk it out with someone. i need someone to listen to me. i just need someone to be there for me. Really be there for me.
i don't need all the "i'll be there for you" BS. seriously. i can just ask my worst enemy (if i even have one) to record that on the tape recorder and play it everyday. oh what the fuck. i can even just record my own voice. that'll be better right?
so when it comes down to the fact that i draw back and feel like turning to _ although i shouldn't, who's to blame? but _'s not even there anymore. and i'm too ashamed to go look for _ again. and if _ doesn't even try to show that _ cares, why should i even bother?
but i keep on dreaming of you through the nights. so how am i supposed to let this all stop?
11:10 pm
