Saturday, August 11, 2007
the more i try not to think of it, the more i ended up thinking about it, and ultimately none of my work gets done. and this includes the crucial ones, like studying.
anyway, found an interesting email reply in my inbox early this afternoon before i headed off for seoul garden. so yeah..
what was mentioned in the email was quite true.. i'm not going to divulge exactly what, but one of the main ideas is that sometimes being too nice doesn't pay it off. sometimes you have to be mean and put yourself before others. so that includes ensuring you prioritise getting some time to yourself to think through about your life and your problems above other stuffs. and sometimes you have to take drastic steps like totally disconnecting yourself from half of the world around you. so that's why i am always offline on msn, except when i decide to talk to people that i want to talk to, then i'll come online.
come to think of it, it feels great, being able to control the whole thing.. but back to the topic at hand..
drawing the line is necessary. seriously. i know it sounds a bit uncivilised cos barrier = something like the Berlin Wall. (and hey, talking about the Berlin Wall, i think it's history is rather interesting.. but i'll save that for myself) but no. it's called maintaining your territory. so if i'm a gang leader or something, you cross into my boundary and i'll just beat the hell out of you. but i won't do that cos i'm not so ruthless. i'll just slowly steer you to the door and push you out ... onto the mrt tracks (yes, another suicide attempt case on the mrt tracks.. this time at tampines). okay, so back to logical speak. i guess i need to distance myself a little, to give me more space for myself. i mean, i'll still hang around with people, joke with them, share miseries with them, work with them et cetera cos hey, i am just distancing myself, not converting to a hermit crab. but if i'm like reluctant to open up about certain stuffs, or i don't seem to want to share as much of my troubling issues to others, then you should know why.
and talking about hermit crabs, i remembered watching some footage of those small hermits on Berita. some guy in indonesia sells these cute crabs with prettily painted shells. so it's like if you buy a few of these hermits with brightly coloured shells like blue, yellow, orange, and you put them in a tank and let them roam around.. they make such pretty pets cum decoration. your mood will be lifted instantly. but for those interested in owning those crabs but have no idea how to contact that indo guy, easier alternative: drop by to junction 8. there's one uncle selling something like that there.
so yes, as you can see from my post today, i am not emo. in fact i was being rather candid about the whole thing. so yes.. ultimately i am not emo.
a piece of realisation that totally made me hit the roof and up to the sky and heavens above and then plummet back down to earth and straight into stredford end in old trafford:THE ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE STARTS TODAY!!! that means more happiness and bliss and the end of my football drought than i could ever imagine. yes, even the Champions Youth Cup doesn't exactly excite me.
my ultra-late dedication to the Kallang Stadium: you know, i was watching NDP'07 yesterday, and i sorely missed the sight of 45000 singaporeans cramming inside you, Grand Old Dame. and seeing the rows of singaporeans dressed in red almost brought me to tears because it reminded me so much of my experience at Kallang for the ASEAN Cup games, and how i am truly going to miss you, and the whole Kallang crowd and atmosphere (inclusive of the swear words chants, the flipping of the middle fingers and the beautiful medley of referee..kayu..) may you return more grand than now, but still maintaining the same heart, same spirit of our beloved Kallang. We are gonna miss you loads.
to the sender of the email: i know you won't be reading this, but from the deepest corner of my heart, thanks for always being there for me and giving me sane advice. i owe you one.
12:04 am
