Wednesday, August 15, 2007
i'm tired of having to hold on to my tears the whole day again today. sometimes i wish i can just let it out. but i don't quite like the idea of a lot of people asking what's wrong and stuffs, cos it's not like i can tell all of them why. fine, i let some of it out during recess, and nobody noticed so i think that's ok..i have trouble crying in front of people. it's more easier to control it and keep on suppressing it.
i don't know whether it's the after-effects of yesterday, but if it is, then i guess my emotional reaction is pretty slow. well, maybe it is, maybe it's not. come to think of it, i don't quite fathom how i got myself into this emotional mess. i don't know how or when or why it sparked off. heck, i don't even know what this is. it's unexplainable.
i kept thinking of your words. it's a common encouraging phrase but when you said it, when you kept on repeating it to me, it made me want to cry and comforted me at the same time. i don't know why.. other people can say the same thing but it won't leave so much of an impact on me. i don't know what would have happened if i did cry in front of you. i wanted to, but i just couldn't bring myself to make you worry - i won't be able to face that.if only you knew..
9:55 pm
