Tuesday, July 31, 2007
within that span of more or less half an hour, i felt like smiling, laughing and crying at the same time.
i know, it's weird. i wasn't able to sleep at all last night, even though i called it lights out at 2am. but it took me less than 15 minutes of lying on my bed before i just had to haul my tablet out, switch it on and log on to the net again. i wasn't listening to my head; i just followed my heart. so that's why i edited my post yesterday and posted something i've posted before - again. and after that i was just sitting on my bed, ruminating about it all and i wasn't sure what time it was that i finally dozed off, but i'm certain i slept for 2 or 3 hours. and guess what? surprisingly, i didn't feel sleepy at all the whole day. even now i'm not sleepy yet, and it's past midnight.
people have been noting that i've been moody the whole day and stuffs. yeah, i was. but some stuffs you can't divulge cos a) it's weird b) i doubt they can understand. and then the issue comes when you need to let even a small bit of it out, even if it's just by hinting - but there's no one there. and it doesn't make sense that the one person you wish you can let it out to is somehow embroiled in this thing. but that's exactly how it is.
sometimes i think i'm getting my on-off fever because of this whole thing. my worries led to it. my simultaneous tears and smiles led to it. my confusion of the whole thing led to it. and now, my certainty of it also leads to the fever?
Bokgu by Bi/Rain
Bu Nen Shuo De Mi Mi by Jay Chou
Cassiopeia by Bi/Rain
12:44 am
