Tuesday, December 19, 2006
(noises coming from players entering dressing room during half-time. Shushing each other up as jose mourinho enters)
JM: and you call that the performance of champions? I’m not looking at champions.
Players: All right, gaffer!
JM: no, it is not all right, gaffer. Shut up Makelele. I am the manager of this team, and who am I?
Players: You are the Special One!
JM: Yes, I’m the Special One. But that performance was not special. It made me laugh and champions should not make me laugh. If I want to laugh, maybe I listen to Damien doing a car insurance set. Damien, do it, make me laugh. Now.
Damien Duff: I’m selling car insurance, pretty cool.
JM: Yeah, very funny. Now, Drogba, first half, pathetic. (Drogba argues) No, if you want, I can replace you. no, it’s no problem, I can do it.
www.amazon.co.uk, searchword rooney, 35.5 million. (no,no!) No problem, I can do it. I can do it. If you want me to press buy, (no, please gaffer) then listen to the Special One?
Didier Drogba: Ok, Ok
JM: Ok. Second half, vocal exercises, midfield. Now.
Midfield: Woahouah..
JM: Very good. Defense, breathe, and vocal.
Defense: Woahouah..
JM: Very good. You are ready, I think? Ok, ok, ok, ok, it’s time for the song. (excited yells from the players. Shush..) Last week – shut up vocals – last week we beat arsenal. And that is for you, don’t look back in anger.
Players: Don’t look back in anger!
JM: Shush. Shut up, shut up Damien, shut up. This week I do for you, the Special One.
Players: You are the Special One!
JM: I know I’m the Special One. But this week, it’s a very special song. And this one is called Jose & His Amazing Technicolor Overcoat.
I close my eyes
And stand there grinning (woahouah)
We can’t stop winning (woahouah)
You’ll be grinning too
When I first came (when he first came)
I was delighted (woahouah)
Could have managed United (woahouah)
But anything will do
I wore my coat (he wears his coat)
The world is merry (woahouah)
I’ve got John Terry (woahouah)
And Drogba too
I switch them round (he switch his rounds)
They all are playing (woahouah)
I like rotating (woahouah)
This team, anything will do
A corner kick is just enough
A little flick from Damien Duff
The ball flies right into the net
And we are 1-0 up (1-0 up, 1-0 up, 1-0 up)
May I return (may he return)
To the beginning (woahouah)
So easy winning (woahouah)
When your team is blue (blue is the colour)
We can’t go wrong (we can’t go wrong)
I am in heaven (woahouah)
Playing whatever eleven (woahouah)
Anything will do
JM: Now, go and be champions. Be champions. Love it. And if you don’t do it, you can kill yourself. Take that from me. Be champions!
1:54 am
