Wednesday, September 24, 2008

sometimes i can't help feeling that i'm a different person nowadays. and i don't mean it in a good way.

i'm suffering a burnout.
hurry up and come next thursday.

will it be a bitter goodbye or the sweetest one?
right now, i can't give a damn.

8:21 pm

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

came across these three songs on youtube. apparently they were from the Pyramid Of Light movie, but i've never heard these songs before. anyway, these three songs have been my inspiration and helped me pick up my strength recently. maybe it can serve some useful purpose to you readers too.

You're Not Me

You think I've got it all
You think I've got it made well
How come my only friends are the ones I pay?
No one understands
What I would do to change my life for just one day

**Don't say if I were you (say if I were you)
Or tell me what you'd do
Or things would be if
You were in my shoes
Cuz you're not me

You know what I need
And it's not another serenade
I get so tired of all the things you say
So give me what I want
if you only would
I'd gladly throw this all away

**Don't say if I were you (say if I were you)
Or tell me what you'd do
Or things would be if
You were in my shoes (cuz you're not me)
Please take me as I am (take me as I am)
This isn't what I planned
But I don't expect that
You can understand
Cuz you're not me

I know you think you're bein' nice
But spare me all your lame advice
Time to play my hand and roll the dice
Everybody's got their price

For far too long I've been denied
I'm makin' my move so just step aside
No one can say I never tried
To do everything to get back my pride

Hey, you were never me
Why can't you see
That you're not me (me, me, me, me, me, me, me)

**Don't say if I were you (say if I were you)
Or tell me what you'd do (tell me what you'd do)
Or how things would be if
You were in my shoes (cuz you're not me)
Please help me if you can (help me if you can)
This isn't what I planned (this isn't what I planned)
But I don't expect that
You can understand
Cuz you're not me
____________________________________
I'm Back

Disappeared
Out of here
It was time to pay my dues
Never guessed
That you'd be dressed
In my clothes and in my shoes
You couldn't wait to move right in
If I were you I'd be concerned
Ain't no way you're gonna win
Betcha didn't count on my return

-CHORUS-
You thought you were so tough
You had it all under control
Now enough is enough
Gonna take back what you stole
{Give it up, 'cause now I'm back}

On my own
All alone
This ain't how the story ends
Now I see
Those close to me
They were just fair-weather friends
You suckered everyone in sight
With promises that fooled them all
You may be top dog tonight
The bigger they come, the harder they fall

-CHORUS-

"For our planet to succeed, Kaiba must be taken out of the picture, permanently."
"You'll never take me alive!"
"Seto Kaiba will bother us no more, hahahahahaha!"
"I'm not going to give up Kaiba Corporation without a real fight! It's takeover time, by me."
"I attack with the Blue Eyes White Dragon

-CHORUS-

"We're going in."
"Big brother, you're here! You're here!"
_________________________________________
One Card Short

(first verse)
Life's just a game
We all wanna win
Keep your hand a secret
Unleash the monsters within
Sometimes it's over
Before it's even begun
If someone else get hurt
Then what have you really won

(chorus)
I'm always one card short
Always one day late
For once I'd like an ending
I can celebrate
Stacked the deck myself, so there's no one else to blame
I need just one more move
One final chance to prove...
I can win this game

(second verse)
Life's just a duel
That's how the world is made
But are we all players
Or are we being played

(chorus)
I'm always one card short
Always one day late
For once I'd like an ending
I can celebrate
Stacked the deck myself, so there's no one else to blame
I need one more move
One final chance to prove...
I can win this game

(third verse)
Is what happens next in your control
Are you doing what you want, or what you've been told
Do you choose the cards from your own hands
Or are we all just puppets in a master plan
One more move

(chorus)
One card short
One day late
Give me something
Something to celebrate
Stacked the deck myself, so there's no one else to blame
One more move, I'm gonna win this game
I'm gonna win this game
I'm gonna win this game
One more move, I'll win this game
Everybody celebrate

(second verse)

8:25 pm

Monday, September 22, 2008

about two more weeks to Hari Raya! and indirectly a few more weeks to the O levels. oh wells. i think we're still lucky, okay. so, for all those P6 students who are going to take your PSLE this year (which is kind of right smack in the middle of hari raya) and also to all the Sec1-Sec3 students everywhere, all the best! just get your paper over and done with, and then you all can go hari raya! and oh, do pray for us as well.

since i'm actually in the Hari Raya spirit (ha! i havent even gotten my baju kurung or my shoes or my makeup or my handbag, for that matter. and the curtains aren't even ready yet), i've changed the jukebox to a Hari Raya special. it's my favourite Hari Raya song from the late Sudirman Haji Arshad, my favourite and one of the best singers of all time. so for now, his song will be hitting this blog's airways.

for now, because there are a LOT of songs for Hari Raya. i'm serious. there's about 10 new ones every year. and if you start counting.. fuyohh. i don't think i'll have problem finding 50 odd of them. see? that's why i absolutely love Hari Raya. we have a lot a lot of songs. hehehe.

also, i'd like to take this chance to wish long-time Malay song/lyricswriter Mr Haron Abdulmajid (who wrote the lyrics for the DJKPM song) a speedy recovery. your new song is simply beautiful. the moment i heard it, i felt so touched. we're all praying for your recovery. amin.

and to the rest, don't forget your final few tarawih prayers! these last 10 nights are the most special nights of Ramadhan. belajar-belajar jugak, tarawih jangan lupa haa.

10:04 pm

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Yu-Gi-Oh! rules. seriously. it's one of those little things from my childhood that gets me through some of the toughest things in life. it's not just the anime or the cards. it's what i feel for them.

Blue Eyes White Dragon, the only card that i really cherish. i don't know why but i've always felt a strange affliation to Blue Eyes. maybe cos it's the only card that i can really place faith in. to me it's not just a card - it's special. and yes, if i was really sad, i used to talk to it.

Seto Kaiba, CEO of KaibaCorp (at the age of 18) and one of the best duellist around. the anti-hero-cum-villian in the anime. saves the day but is always trying to beat Yugi. most people see him as stubborn, arrogant, selfish (which he is), heartless, cruel and bossy(which he can be). but for all he's worth, he keeps to his word and knows how to repay favours. he's not evil; he's just... Kaiba. anyway, his holier-richer-smarter-than-thou attitude is usually translated into his sarcastic words that ended up being unintentionally humorous. but he is none of this with his younger brother and only family (they were orphans and adopted by a rich world chess champion who Kaiba defeated), Mokuba. seriously, his brother is his soft spot. he had risked his life and soul countlessly to save his brother, and it's only with Mokuba that we can see the more sweeter side of Kaiba. the pendant hanging from his neck contains Mokuba's picture, and Mokuba has a similar one containing Kaiba's pic. in short, there are only 3 things he care about other than himself: Mokuba, KaibaCorp and Blue Eyes White Dragon.

and obviously, he's my inspiration. why? i like the way he handle stuffs. and also cos of his sense of humour, despite it being condescending always. he's not just cool; he's wayy too cool. even his outfit is cool.

anyway, just to have an idea of how Kaiba's words are:

"If Marik can brainwash people,Joey must have been brainwashed by him to become a mean dog to bite you to death.If I were brainwashed,I would do that." -to Yami Yugi

"I'm not giving up Kaiba Corporation without a real fight... It's takeover time... by me!" (when he discovers Pegasus is trying to take over his company)

Joey: "Looks like a regular old briefcase to me..."

Kaiba: "Its IN the briefcase, you moron!" (when taking out his Duel Disks)

"Just give me one second to pick this lock.." - (to Mokuba when attempting to free him from Pegasus. this part was kinda funny since Mokuba was expecting a hi-tech rescue plan)

"One day we will meet in the arena again, and we'll decide which of us is truly the better duelist, and one of us will walk away with pride." (while apologizing to Yugi about the duel where he threatened to kill himself when he was driven to the edge of the tower)

"If I had a nickel for every time you used the word destiny, I'd be even richer..." - to Yugi

"How sad. You went through all that trouble over some Egyptian Fairytale? I'm surrounded by superstitious nitwits..."

"Teamwork is for boy scouts and nursery school, Yugi."

12:58 pm

Friday, September 19, 2008

this is a special shoutout to one of my besties, Farid!
thanks so much for hearing me out today, and also for cheering me up. seriously, your selamba atttitude is much much appreciated. haha. i realise how much i miss talking to you, dude. anyway, thanks so much for everything rid! kaulah antara sahabatku yang tergerek di dunia(:

in case any of you are wondering, i got back some stuffs today, and somehow some of it weren't exactly things to be pleased about. i was holding on pretty okay, but then i still felt the strong urge to talk it out. so i rang rid up after school and then, rather than being sad, i ended up laughing throughout the whole 15 minutes thanks to rid's selenge-ness. and oh, his story about his O level oral and etc. hahaha. seriously, it's hard not to laugh just hearing him.

and rid, aku janji, nanti raya aku hantar kau kad besar okie? hehe.

10:04 pm

Thursday, September 18, 2008

this is what i want:

Maksim's 6th album!! and why is it Pure II and not simply Pure? well, according to his webiste, contractual problems. anyway, that doesn't matter. all i want right now is to get that album. and oh, he's coming up with a greatest hits soon, so yes, i want that as well.

and before i want this and that, i must be able to find his albums in the shops first. but so far, CD-RAMA at cwp doesn't even seem to carry any of his albums anymore. dude, his music is nice. please please bring his CDs back in.

to be honest, i always view music as a way to escape from reality. or to confront it. but usually to escape, cos when you listen to songs, it's like you get transported somewhere else, you discover another part of yourself and feel inspired. i guess that's why i like maksim's music - they leave me feeling inspired. [seriously people, i'm not that shallow to only like him for his looks.]

changed blogsong again. i opted for Leeloo's Tune this time round cos i think it's simply... beautiful. there should be a better word to describe it rather than beautiful, but i can't seem to find the word. maybe cos when i heard the song, it brings back a lot of memories. sad and happy, happy and sad. i guess this is what you call remembering and missing the wrong things at the wrong time.

to end off this post before D-Day Part 1 tomorrow, i shall include two quotes; one with a reference to my bracketed statement. it's from another guy that i sorely miss, especially in the english footballing world: Mr Jose Mourinho. but he's doing a 'fine' job keeping his mouth shut in italy, so i guess there's no difference there:

"Sometimes you see beautiful people with no brains. Sometimes you have players
who are intelligent, like scientists. Our pitch is a bit like that. From the top
it's a disgrace but the ball rolls at a normal speed."

"If you have at home (cars) 1 Bentley and 1 Aston Martin, if you go all
everyday in the Bentley and leave the Aston Martin in the garage, you are a bit
stupid."

11:59 pm

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

the world's economy isn't in a very good state. seriously. a lot of US major finance firms are shutting down, and there are fears that Britain might be heading for a recession. usually i don't really care about economics; but i guess this time it's slightly different. currently there are fears that major US insurance company AIG may be next to go bust. and this worries me because 1) that's my insurance company and 2) they're Man Utd's major sponsor. 'nuff said as to why it worries me suddenly. but Fed and world banks are pouring in quite a large sum of money to help save these companies, so let's hope it'll all stabilise it slightly.

but i don't know. the world's economy is looking pretty gloomy now, but i guess it's one of those times. it'll pass. but for now, i guess we all have to be prepared to face whatever might come.

man, i sound old. why am i even worrying about economics? it's okayy. shares are plunging and whatnot, but it's part of a cycle. the world will pull through this.

i have no idea what to wear for career day tomorrow. i can find the pants, but i have no idea what top should go along with it. my near-formal shirt doesn't look like it'll ever see the formal light ever again. truth be told, i don't even feel like coming to school tomorrow. oh wells.

anyway, went home with Jing Li. she's such an entertaining person to talk to! and oh, i ran into Dika at commonwealth mrt! which is considerably a surprise, cos it was only yesterday that i was suddenly reminded of him. doinks. guess that's the problem with long-time friends. haha.

and and and, Rid! you, me, umai, and wan should go group study soon again! haha.. but this time round, we'll tell you guys wayy beforehand. and rid, 30 minutes lagi ehk. kwang3.

10:01 pm

Monday, September 15, 2008

after 3 hours on mine/my brother's electric guitar (which i played acoustic, since really, i have no idea how to handle it with the amplifier), i have acquired something: 3 dry fingertips, 1 sliced one, and a nail that is chipped at the side. yayy. my fingers were itching to hold on to a guitar since after break fast. which i eventually did at 8pm. heheh. and oh, did i mention that i named that guitar? i called him Blake. his acoustic older brother i've named Timmy. cute right?

today was officially the last prelim paper, which was HMT. the paper 1 was such a happy paper. one of the functional writing qn was about the new Malay mag, SUTRA. then one of the qn for section 2 was about factors leading to singapore's survival. from the way i wrote it, i've never sounded so proud of the government (:

right now i'm itching to play the guitar again tmr. i wonder if the Arts Con band stuffs will be on. i'd like to compare the sound of their guitar and mine. although if i remembered correctly, the Arts Con's one isn't that impressive for a guitar (i didn't even like the guitar. it felt too fake)

something weird happened to me today. i didn't know if it was all merely coincidences. but when two people from your past and one from your present enter the fray of the day, it gets confusing.

i'm thinking of changing the blogsong. i think Still Waters and Somewhere In Time are very romantic pieces. and both can bring back quite a fair bit of memories. So is Leeloo's Theme. anyway, see how lah. i don't want people to feel sad when visiting my blog. hahaa.

finished the lyrics for the grad song i kinda wrote for the class. i might post it sometime soon, after i've re-edited it. and try to see if i can find a tune on the guitar for it, but the chances are slim. doinks.

and to umai, who suddenly sounded down tonight, cheer up babe. jgn risau sgt psl langau tu. fikirkan hadiah orang tu lagi bagus! [apa kata kita borongkan sekali on the 27th? kan boleh add on glitter-mlitter dia lepas tu banyak2.]

11:03 pm

Thursday, September 11, 2008

i'm crazy. seriously. i spent 3 hours all the way till 3am watching and listening to Maksim Mrvica play the piano on Youtube. and i forgot just how much i love the way he plays his music. and of course, ahem... how fine he looks. half the time i was watching the vids, i was captivated by his model good looks. but of course, ultimately it's his music that wins everything else hands-down. i remembered that i started to like listening to him after his rendition of Flight Of The Bumblebee a few years back. the crazy speed at which his fingers work on the piano - it's utterly amazing.

can't wait until his new album hit the CD stores in Singapore (:

i heard the demos, and like almost everything he plays, it's nice. utterly nice.

anw, changed my blogsong to one of my fave vids from him, Croatian Rhapsody. even if you're not a fan of classical music, do watch it for the player:

5:00 pm

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Ciao amici!

iow, yes, i have discovered that my inner european is italian! at least according to the quiz that i did on blogthings ytd with umai. hehe. if singapore shook last night, well.. the culprits are anybody BUT us. kwang3.

anw, blogthings quiz is hilariously interesting. which is why i like doing them because other than discovering more about yourself (i know what career to take already - according to the quiz, i should be an artist. muahaha!), realising that the computer can tell you who you really are thanks to simply your name (and the best part is, every single word is true), it also comes up with the darnest name, esp on the name generators thing.

THIS IS THE SECTION WHERE YOU'RE PERMITTED TO LAUGH FOR 5 SEC EACH.
my pirate name: Surgeon Wicked Wilma
my vampire name: Countess of Austria (*Slytherin evil laugh*)
my fashion designer name: Nur Venice (how? glam or very glam?)
my leprechaun name: Tweedle O'Weedle
my socialite name: Pontianak Ibiza (i feel so honoured! sniff sniff, wave hanky to crowd.)

and all your 25 secs is up, so please stop laughing.

umai's ones were equally hilarious, and i think we couldn't stop laughing in front of our screens for a good hour or so. score another one for the complete solution to de-stress!

and the grad song lyrics is coming along pretty well. i couldn't resist injecting some italian into it, but hey, italian's a romance language, okay.

and talking about italian, i miss tiramisu making with umai! sobs sobs. nevermind nevermind, the moment the last paper for O's is out, we shall gorge on tiramisu. rid can pay for us. hehehe. no lah. i am nice - we shall share the cost for one HUGE tiramisu and a bunch of other stuffs. i think the photo caption will be cute (in the form of a headline): The Three Glers Launched Attack - one huge tiramisu and 4 plates of sushi among casualties. that will be the best news ever (:

but for now, i shall start slowly looking for special hari raya cards/e-cards, and a supeeeeeeerrrr special maha sepesel hari raya card/e-card. hehe. i noe u noe we noe what, kan umai kan?? hehe.

8:16 pm

Sunday, September 07, 2008

se tu amore qualcuno, lascia lui perdere

and you all can go and figure out what it means. hehh. clue: mussolini.

anyway, i'm taking a pretty long break from studying before i launch into History. only 1 small chapter and 1 large chapter left. oh wells.

deb just intro-ed me to Nat Bedingfield's new song, Angel, and the sentimental sucker i am, yes, i fell in love with the lyrics. a bit sappy, but i think it'll sound really pretty in a wedding. but seriously, the song that i was kinda in for the night was Shakira's Don't Bother. it sounds very fitting.

j'ai essayarei t'oublier.
je pense si que je pouvais t'oublier jamais, je serais plus heureux.
mais pourquoi je t'ai preoccupe toujours?
et pourquoi si tu me laisseras, j'etais triste?
Dites-moi, mon amor, pourquoi?

12:49 am

Saturday, September 06, 2008

the thing about songwriting/lyrics writing is that it just keeps on coming. i'm trying to come up with a grad song, which is about half-done. but i'm still not satisfied with some parts. so i guess it might take me a few days or a week to settle it. it's not just another love song - it's a graduation song. i don't know how the singer is going to sing it - the problem is, i wrote it with mariah carey in mind. anw, for the time being, i need to look for a pianist. and a band. seriously. or at least a decent music-mixing software that i'll know how to use. Cakewalk got me lost.

i realise that i like the Harry Potter world. which is weird, seeing that i don't like Harry Potter. but yeah. i like the whole fantasy world. correction. i like Slytherin, the Malfoys and the Blacks. don't ask me why i'm drawn to them. it's the same reason why i'm drawn to the romanticised version of the Sicilian Mafia. i just like them.

Currently in the midst of reading this hilarious book by Ian Sansom entitled The Delegates Choice. i think the reviewer was right: it is "a perfect antidote for melancholy". thanks mr sansom for introducing such funny characters.

okay, i shall continue my 'scriptwriting' session with umai aka our late night craps. we're on our version of HP and the Chamber of Secrets. and we're already down to scene 9! yayy!

2:14 am

Friday, September 05, 2008

i told someone once that i don't know if seeing _ around or talking to _ would be a good thing.
and i guess i got the answer.

but hey, it ain't matter anymore.
___________________________
If I Were You - Tamia

I look in the mirror, with you in my arms
And I see a reflection
Of a smile that says you believe in love
And just for a moment, I drifted away
But I couldn't stay cuz
A hint of love, a bit of fear
I'm tryin' to say

[Chorus] If I were you, I wouldn't be here
If I were you I would stay right where you are
I wouldn't come near this broken heart
Just turn around and leave here
And find someone who won't hurt you
Make sure that she still believes in love
Cuz I think my heart has given up
If I were you, I wouldn't be here

I'm tryin' to protect you
From the lies that your heart tells
Even though it says that you love me
All I see is pain and misery
Seasons may change
But I can't forget the days of old
My heart ached when you walked away
I said I'd never love again

[Chorus]

The days go by
And I feel that you could make me happy
Time goes on
And I feel that love is at my door
And though I tell myself that you're the one
Who said those words before
Thought it hurts too much
I can't trust in love
Again
Again

[Chorus] x3
___________________________
Who Do You Tell (When You Love Someone) - Tamia

[ Verse: ]
There you were in a crowded room
With someone at least I assumed
How did I know I would fall in love
With you so soon

Just one look in your eyes
And I see the truth
And I try hard to hide that I'm made for you
But I know deep inside
things that we could do
Just as long as we're together
But...

[ Chorus: ] Who do you tell when you love someone
Hoping that someone's in love with you
Who do you tell when you love someone
I think I might as well tell you

I can't believe that I feel this way
There is so much that I want to say
I wanna touch you, hold you,feel you, please you
As we're making love allthrough the night
We would talk to each other
We would laugh and play
We would claim it's forever
every night and day
We would share every minute
'til the test of time
In my mind

[ Chorus ]

[ Bridge: ]
I've hesitated so many times
And I won't let you slip away from me no
I know you're for me
And me for you
But I don't know what to say or to do
So now that we're together
I'm telling you

[ Chorus repeat ]

1:24 am

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

emath extra lessons today. slacked at the back for 3 hours. occasionally listening in to the important stuffs. lessons ended, people left save JL, nanthini, nurun and me [and our emath teacher]. they did their work, i tried to do mine. except that i couldn't focus.
i dont know what's wrong with me, or why. you told me beforehand yesterday and i was fine with the cancellation. but suddenly i miss you like i've never missed you before.

so yeah.. i had to get things out of my system. so i sat down and manage to eke out parts for 3 songs that suddenly popped into my head. i completed one. but that said, i wasn't sure if the melody flowed because i wrote out the lyrics first.

same rules apply.

Last Thing I'd Do

Sometimes i don't know what hurts more
To still love you or to let you go
But if every path i take leads me nowhere
Then hey, maybe it ain't matter anymore

But deep down inside I know
I'd die if you were gone
How am i gonna stand myself?
How am i gonna stand missing you?

* Tell me, how am i to miss you
When you're never here?
Tell me, how can i feel your touch
When you're never near?
Tell me, why do i love you when
That should be the last thing i'd do
Last thing i'd do

Nowadays i go all about
Laughing joking a smile on my face
But what nobody knows is inside this heart
But hey, maybe it ain't matter anymore

Cos deep down inside i know
I'm dying bit by bit
How am i to soldier on without your love?
How am i to keep looking up to the sky above?

*

I admit, i do still love you
Though it should be the last thing i'd do
Last thing I'd do
For you

8:06 pm

changed the song again. there's eng subs on the vid, so it's universally understandable. although i like the tune of the song, i can't help finding the lyrics quite sad. being a secret lover must be tough because the whole thing has to be kept a secret. i wonder where Ungu got the inspiration for that song...

anyway, my mood was slightly dampened. what should have been on tomorrow had to be put off to an unknown time. i mean, it's okay lah. guess it's just not my time.

to cheer myself up, i visited Victoria's Secrets website and took a look at the fall wardrobe. and i fell in love with almost all the clothes. some pieces that i was interested in:

terry off-shoulder dress ; peplum blouse

Kate fit straight leg pants ; Carmen fit wide leg pants

pleated scoopneck bra top ; blouson halter bra top

blouson tie-waist top ; corset blouse

silk georgiette babydoll bra top ; gathered sleeves top

nice right? but sighs. i can only just hope for these pieces. i don't even know if they're gonna be shipped to SG and sold at around 30 bucks? fat chance. even their bags are what.. 40 +++ ?

anw, for those who want to take a look at more of these VS products, go here:

http://www.victoriassecret.com/

"stand out in a crowd. take a chance. turn heads. break hearts. embrace your sexy side."

- slogan on VS Very Sexy Hot Pocket Totebag

1:33 am

Monday, September 01, 2008

selamat berpuasa semuanya (:

okay lah, seeing how the first day of the fasting month is already over, this message is kinda late. BUT it's never too late cos we have 29 more days to go! [and on a more morbid note, it's the start of countdown for the Os.]

and thanks to anak Pak Saad's [aka Syafiq Saad] MSN personal message, i have been inspired to continue with it.

he wrote: puasa yok2 bangun pagi bukak periuk

i shall write: puasa yok2 bangun pagi bukak periuk
perut keroncong sekali tengok periuk kosong

and i suddenly thought of this: puasa yok2 lepas sahur tarik selimut
orang sibuk subuh dia buat air liur

HAHA! yayyy. i shall ask umai, rid and wan to join in the formation of these pantun puasa one of these days. hehe.

the fasting month is super fun. i loike i loike (:

anw, selamat berpuasa everybody(: dah minum air katirah dgn chendol geylang tu, jangan lupa tarawih dgn belajar. hehe.

8:01 pm