Monday, March 31, 2008

With your innocence you opened up my heart
I knew that I would love you right from the very start
You turned my life around showed me a better way
Thoughts of you will always make me have a brighter day
When I'm by your side it helps to see me through
Can't express all the happiness when I'm with you
A gift from up above the one I'm dreaming of
I'll always cherish you my unconditional love

When I see the bright lights in your eyes
Feel like a bird that's just learned to fly
From now until the end of time
I'm glad you came into my life
My gift sent from above
Unconditional love
~ Unconditonal Love by Victoria Beckham
_____________________________________________
I can die tomorrow.
My soul can dry up.
But I'll never forget you,
But I'll never forget you.

They can erase my memory.
They can rob me of your story,
But I'll never forget you,
But I'll never forget you.

How could I forget your smile.
How could I forget your stares.
How could I forget the prayers so that you wouldn't leave.

How could I forget your craziness.
How could I forget your temper.
How could I forget that I love you even more now than ever.
~ Nunca Te Olvidare (I'll Never Forget You) by Enrique Iglesias

12:53 am

Officially Missing You by Tamia

All I hear is raindrops, falling on the rooftop
Oh baby, tell me why'd you have to go
'Cause this pain I feel, it won't go away
And today I'm officially missing you

I thought that from this heartache, I could escape
But I've fronted long enough to know
There ain't no way
And today I'm officially missing you

**Ooh, can't nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And I-I'm officially...

All I do is lay around, two years full of tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don't even know you at all, I don't know you at all

Well, I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it's safe to say, baby, safe to say
That I-I'm officially missing you

**

Well, I thought I could just get over you, baby
But I see that's something I just can't do
From the way you would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just can't find a way to let go of you

**

It's official
Hoo, you know that I'm missin' you, yeah, yes
All I hear is raindrops, oh, yeah
And I-I'm officially missin' you

12:53 am

Thursday, March 27, 2008

i miss you so much. i just wish i can spend time with you.

smsed _ today cos i thought of meeting up to just have a chat. then there was some clashing with the time and place, so i guess i have to forego it. i mean, it's not like i'll have anything in school on that day for me to come to school in the first place.

i miss him terribly. there's so much i want to talk to him about, to tell him, to ask him...it's been so long. i miss spending time with him.

but when we're both busy leading our lives, to find that one little slot of time just seem so difficult...

10:54 pm

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

i sensed it the whole of last night and this morning. i saw it coming.
i thought that for once, i could be wrong.
turns out i was right, again.

maybe you just had a bad day, or you were very very pissed, but that was scary.
and now i'm just more worried about you than last night or this morning.

i can't do anything, except to just pray and hope you're alright.
i know you will be - i trust you on that.
tapi macamanapun, aku tetap akan berikan kau sokongan walaupun dalam diam.
aku tahu sekarang ni kita dah tak berjumpa sangat, dah tak berbual sejak tahun lepas. tapi satu perkara yang aku tahu dan aku masih yakinkan: aku masih sayangkan kau.

okayy.. at least now the whole worried feeling has sort of faded.
maybe things are better - i'll hope for that. isly

inikah namanya cinta?

11:02 pm

Saturday, March 22, 2008

HAHA. thanks to the crapping sessions with umai, i now have a few new pets. hehe.


Meet Bobby, my tigger cub.


things you must note:
- he's cute (hehh. like who, i wonder. hehe)
- he loves pink a lot a lot. so please, don't enter his cage without wearing a pink outfit.
- he responds well to you if you call him BOBBbYY and not BOBby
- he just came back from the dentist for having a piece of fake pearl lodged in his teeth. please, he's vegetarian (except for one instance involving..ahem.. kau tahu aku tahu siapa kan umaii..hehe), not a pearl-arian.


and in his cage also - which is like a mini zoo - meet his best friend, Jebon the Snake


now now now, before you all go, "waitt.. he looks like that jungle book snake". guess what? he does. but he's NOT. kwang3. see, jebon is an orphan. his parents got killed and made into soup. so one day he slithered into Bobby's cage, crying. Bobby took pity, befriended him and hid him for a while before telling me. so, because of Bobby, i let him stay. besides, he only eats apples.



other than Jebon, Bobby recently discovered a new friend who taught him how to eat pasta. meet Raymigoreng the Rat

he just came back from Italy after a stint there. apparently he's Bobby's kindergarten-mate, only to be seperated after Raymigoreng was stuck on a ship headed to Rome. when he came back to pop Bobby a visit, he missed Bobby so much he really wanted to stay. so i let him (besides, he can always helps me cook pasta. hehehh.)

yeapps, that's who i have in Bobby's cage so far (:
and they all live happily and peacefully togethere-gether. hehe.

11:19 pm

gonna upload and then fully blog about the bowling trip on thursday in detail one of these days. so stay tuned!

but for now...

andai aku menjadi bulan
sudikah engkau menjadi kejora hingga pagi nanti?
andai saja aku menjadi tanah
sudikah engkau menjadi bunga hiasi dadaku?
~ Art Fazil

aku cinta aku rindu
walau berjauhan ku temu hatimu
~ Aku Cinta Aku Rindu - Ajai & Nurul

ily.

2:32 am

Thursday, March 20, 2008

a song for you..
aku tak pernah berhenti menyayangimu walau sedetik pun.

Syurga Di Hati Kita oleh Ziana Zain

Kucari di mana
Kau letak hatimu
Kerna bersamaku ada penawar nya
Hanya kepadamu tempat ku mengadu
Usah kau berpaling dan terus membisu

Sememangnya lidah
Tiada bertulang
Namun itu bukan alasan berdiam
Percintaan ini, kita memilih nya
Kesilapan hanya suatu perbandingan

1.
Kekasih...Cintaku ibarat rimba
Andainya dibakar
Tinggallah debuan arang
Siramlah dengan kata-kata saktimu
Semoga asmara berbunga ke akhir nanti
Bagiku engkau...permata hidupku
Inilah ujian buat kita

2.
Berjanjilah... kan setia kekasih padaku
Kita bercinta hingga ke pintu syurga
Sinarilah asmara di mata dan di jiwa
Hidupkan cahaya cinta selamanya

Ulang 1 & 2

12:32 am

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

as much as i try to shift it all aside, i just snapped during lunch today. i mean, the whole day my mood was already so fucked up, and then it's like i just snapped and lost it real bad. it was... terrible. usually in the past i'll just keep quiet about it. like, it's there but wtf. just shut the hell up about it. guess that was the biggest mistake i ever did. then i snapped and it was just really uncontrollable. i thought that i couldn't stop.

anyway, thanks olga for hearing me out and making me laugh after that.
thanks also to Jes Lee, Vaish and Laura for cheering me up as well.

negative point here: i'm just gonna blog out my thoughts about this whole thing. offensive or whatever or what, it's my blog, what i've been keeping shut about all this while. so in other words, suka hati aku lah. korang tak suka boleh blah and berambus.

i guess sometimes trying to be considerate doesn't pay off. then you end up keeping and hiding it all away for months on end and then, you snap just like that. but then it's not like it wasn't made known before. like hello, it was like right there in front of your face and it's just like dismissed. and then there's a whole bunch of BS happening all around. like wtfh. it gets so sickening after a while.
and naturally when you're at the brink of losing it, you just simply have no one to talk things out to. diao. as usual, busyness prevails, or my lack of it. whatever lah. at the very least i don't put volatile things off until it's too late.
to be honest, it seems pretty much too late for anything, isn't it? because once someone snaps, things just get harder. and then they just lose faith in things.

lolS. these sort of things just make me more cynical than ever about these sort of things. sometimes i don't even know what this all means to them. basic things like trust, respect, sensitivity (it doesn't matter if you were from an all-chinese class or a CHIJ primary school or whatever. you're a Singaporean living in a multi-racial/religious country. at times like this, i think this is where neighbourhood schools score in - the mentality of the students.)

what's the measure of a friendship - by words or by actions?


kadang2 i wish yang you boleh sense benda ni semua..dapat rasa yang things are really fucked up for me now. sama macam selalunya i dapat sense yang things are not really going on okay untuk you last time.
tapi pada masa sama, i tahu you sibuk and stuffs - tak sampai hati nak bebankan you lagi. secara jujur i cakap, i really really want to just go and talk to you about all this whirlwind which is my life. and bukan aje pasal masalah ni, tapi pasal benda2 lain jugak, pasal janji i pada you nak ceritakan al-kisah2 lucu kat kelas. tapi i tak berani nak ganggu sebab i tahu you betul2 sibuk.
you know, at the time that i'm writing this, i rasa mcm i tengah cakap dengan you (in english lah..tapi ni i tulis melayu - walaupun you tak faham - jadi certain manusia2 yang mulut murai kat dunia ni takkan faham apa aku tulis.) Seriously. maybe pasal i dah lama tak berbual dgn you F2F. or maybe pasal imysm. but i can almost imagine what you'll say - and i'll end up setuju-ing and dengar-ing your advice.
amazing kan, even though you're not here, it feels like you've never left. thank you (:

8:32 pm

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

immmmmmmmmysm.

hurrs. it was since last night. and bila aku nampak dia tadi... i really really really rindukan dia. like reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally rindukan dia. aku tak pernah rindukan dia sampai macam gitu sekali. sighs. maybe cos it's been almost half a year since we actually talked to each other F2F.

anyway, chatted with Az after like months of not doing so. hehh. he's doing pretty okay. and man, he's funny lah. chatted for a while about school and stuffs and then he was off to do research for his DNT.

crapped with Umai. still crapping with her. HAHA.
Umai, ke'LAME'an kita ni di-reserve-kan untuk kita dan hanya kita. orang lain tak faham suah.
and ohh.. tak payahlah takut pasal owl si unoewho tuu. aku dah letak dia dalam tank arowana dahh. and and and, lain kali dia bagi salam, balas jangan tak balas.

12:32 am

i hate school. except for a few people. but i hate school. really. i've never hated school so much.

anyway, found something to add to my life's principles:
Forgive your enemies, but don't forget their names - John F. Kennedy.

i think it's so true. you can forgive people, but you simply can't forget what they've done to you. not when it's been on countless occasions and you've given them so much chances, your patience's running thin.

to be honest, i kinda had an emotional breakdown after school today. actually, i started feeling so fcuked up during chem. then it was just there and dragged all the way home. i think talking to yourself helps a lot. as in, you imagine you're talking to someone else i.e. someone you wish you could talk it all out to. then you let it all out. then...i don't know. you can somehow know what the person would say or you'd just know that even if you spilled it all in real life, the person would listen. i don't know. it helps to clear your mind up and make you feel much better. but i guess that only works with one or two people in your life. with others..well, it doesn't seem to work out.

i've never really feel a deep connection to my school. sad, but true. i don't know. i find it hard to fit in 100% and stuffs. maybe it's me. maybe it's the people. maybe it's the school.
i don't know. when you walk around and see a lot of hypocritical people all around, it's just so sickening, y'know? sometimes i wish i can't tell how people are - then i wouldn't be aware of this thing and find things all the more stressful for me.

i'm not stressed out by my workload. it's pretty okay. i still have a lot of free time.
but it's the people most of the time.

aku tahu last time aku dapat rasa yang kau ada masalah. betul-betul tak tenang hati aku untuk seminggu lebih. tapi, sekarang ni, aku macam berbelah-bagi: on one hand, aku taknak kau tahu atau dapat agak tentang masalah aku ni - aku taknak kau risau. cukup kerja2 kau sekarang ni makin banyak. tapi on the other hand, i wish kau dapat rasa. cos maybe then, it'll feel much lighter. much much lighter.
kulo tresno.

12:32 am

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Dear Bestie-ku,

ahemmm.. siapa lagi kalau bukan Cik Siti Humaira Bte Sumri. heee!

thank you so much gerl for the bday song, the bday wish, the bday pic, the bday e-card, the bday prezzie (walaupun masih dgn kau. hehh), the segala-galanya lah! HAHA! thank you sebab buat aku ketawa terbahak-bahak sampai pecah perut dibuatnya aku kat depan comp aku tu.

hehe. aku masih teringatkan convo kita tadi dengan rid. hehehe! yukk umai, kita gi tengok NC16 movie ehk?? kau nak bawa beg besar2 pun takpe. kan kita ada jaga kat luar cinema tu. kwang3.

and and and, sesungguhnya sekarang ni aku tengah tergelak pasal kisah kita hantar u-noe-who ke u-noe-where sementara kita ni, siap dengan maltesers, pergi makan angin ke europe. hehehe!

mampus kita kalau si u-noe-who tu tahu. kwang3. takpelah.. kalau kita tak usik-usik dia, siapa lagi kan kita nak usik dan siapa lagi kan nak usik dia? heee!

ILY many many many 100001 malam lah beb!!

Lovies dari Bestie-mu,
Nur Syafiqah Bte Ahmad Jaaffar

11:55 pm

THANK YOU FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES!

(in order of wishing. hehh)
1) Umai - thanks beb untuk the pic, the lagu and the comment. haha. tepat jam 12 lagi youu. hehe. ILY many many beb!
2) Atikah - walaupun i tak begitu kenal you (cos you kawan Umai!), tapi thanks ya!
3) Inggita - penpal! makasih ya! hehe. ulang tahun kamu pula lepas ini, dalam kira-kira 21 hari?
4) Haikal - thanks bro for the wish!
5) Raimi - hehe. thanks for the wish. ingat birthday wish aku: jaga humaira baik2 tau. kalau tak.. 6) Ferind - hehe. thanks banyak banyak erin! jangan jeles ehkk. hehe.
7) Shi Jia - thank you so much sis! heee. love ya!
8) Tasneem - thanks a bunch sista! miss you, zaff and izza also!
9) Debbie - thanks a lot sis! loves!
10) Vivien - love ya! thank you so much!
11) Samantha - hehehe. thank you sammy!

thank you so much people! ILY all!


andfand thafank yofou for tfhe efemailfail (:

2:39 am

Thursday, March 13, 2008

i came across this book titled The Complete Idiot's Guide To Friendship For Teens while i was browsing through my shelves today. and like i told Umai, i really really feel like buying a few, wrapping them up and give some people in my life and get them to read that. i think it'll be a good idea, don't you think?

to some people in my life: please, wake up and stop all that BS. once a month is tolerable; every other day is not. and then you wonder why i stay away. and guess what? i feel bad about it as well. but i'm really sick of it, alright. i know that when you (the person that this thing is intended for) read this, you won't even realize that it's you i'm talking about. maybe i should stop dropping hints and vague phrases that you can't figure out and just tell you the truth. the cold hard truth. you're this close to losing my friendship.

anyway, the following goes out to everybody. something i summarised from the book. read it, keep it in mind, reflect and re-assess how you've been treating your friends. enjoy!

Chapter 6: Life In The Group Of Friends

the upside:
- gives you a chance to learn how to socialize
- having fun together
- boosting your ego support
- and all the other stuffs in one-on-one friendships

the downside:
- much, much more complicated
- decisions take longer
- jealousy among friends strike
- sometimes you just feel alone in the clique/group

Chapter 10: Crimes against Friendship

- The Uneven Friendship
sometimes you and your friend expect different things in a friendship. maybe it's one-sided; one of you have been putting in the energy and the effort, and she's not getting what she should. naturally, the person who puts in more energy feel hurt when it's one-sided or appear to be.

-The Cling-On Warrior
clingers who cling on to you all the time. these people tend to be scared about being left out, or just plain left. this situation might be stifling, so gently tell your friend the clinger to give you some space.

- The "Why Me?" Whiner
according to these sort of people, everything in their life is simply wrong or depressing. and they just keep on whining and complaining all the time. might misunderstand the purpose of a friendship is to be there for each other all the time, not a whining/complaining box.

- The Competitor
whatever you have, the person must have more. always trying to measure up to you and eventually beat you.

- The Fair-Weather Friend
he's the cookie. one glance, he's there. the next, he's gone.

- The Hypercritical So-called Friend
main hobby: putting you down, criticising you, making you feel bad and plain lousy.

- The Gossip
self-explanatory.


you know, some people just don't get it. just because someone keeps quiet about stuffs after a lash-out, doesn't mean the person has let it pass or forgotten it. on the contrary, it's just there, waiting for another explosion. that's where things would get real ugly.

for some people, wake up, smell the coffee. you had a lot of time to solve an issue, create another one and then solve it. there's one unsettled one and of course you're oblivious to it.

sometimes secondary school life plain sucks.

come on, even in primary school, i had arguments with umai. but we realized it's not going to go anywhere, grew up, sized our friendship up and try not to have so much petty conflicts.

what else? oh yes. within the school itself, there are so many hypocrites. i was like, woww.. talk about hypocrites. i see a few everywhere. to you the hypocrite, i know you're not reading this blog. but seeing how things go, i think i know just what sort of stand you have.

there are a few types of people in this world which i simply can't stand:
- the User
- the Hypocrite
- the Timeless Liar
- the Gossipmonger
- the Take-You-For-Granted

i hope nobody reading this blog falls under those category. lolS.

but then, there's a saying that goes:
whoever bites the chilli, she'll feel the spiciness.

how apt, don't you think?

3:47 pm

i think tonight i'll be able to go to sleep with a smile.

and uhh..umai, aku rasa aku hutang kau 2 kotak ferrero rocher. hehh. sampai bulan turn jadi hot pink konon. kau "sergah" dia dengan topeng kau tu, terus ok. kau lah paling best. HAHA. ILY many many beb!
and yes, sesungguhnya sampai sekarang ni aku masih terbayangkan al-kisah u-noe-i-noe-we-noe-who dengan director ahmat penipu dan munchy donuts. HAHAHA.


hanya dikau sebabnya mengapa aku dapat tidur sambil tersenyum.

Makin aku cinta
Cermin sikapmu yang mampu meredam rasa
Keakuanku memahami cinta
Makin aku cinta
Cermin sikapmu yang mampu meredam rasa
Keakuanku mengerti memahami cinta
~ Makin Aku Cinta by Anang & Kris dayanti

1:32 am

first things first,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMANTHA (:

hehe. everytime i go CC, i'll always get reminded of you. haha.
ILY gerl!

1:32 am

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

i wish i knew why i suddenly miss you.

listened to this song again. it's so sweet, and leehom's so cool! haha.

Forever Love - Lee Hom Wang

爱你
ai ni
Loving you

不是因为你的美而已
bu shi yin wei ni de mei er yi
Not just for your beauty

我越来越爱你
wo yue lai yue ai ni
I love you more and more

每个眼神触动我的心
mei ge yan shen chu dong wo de xin
Touching my heart with each glance

因为你让我看见 forever
yin wei ni rang wo kan jian FOREVER
Because you made me see forever

才了解自己
cai liao jie zi ji
And then I understood myself

未来这些日子
wei lai zhe xie ri zi
The days that are coming

要好好珍惜
yao hao hao zhen xi
I will appreciate them properly

爱我
ai wo
Loving me

有些痛苦有些不公平
you xie tong ku you xie bu gong ping
Sometimes it’s painful,sometimes it’s unfair

如果真的爱我
ru guo zhen de ai wo
If you really love me

不是理所当然的决定
bu shi li suo dang ran de jue ding
It’s not a definite decision

感到你的呼吸在我耳边
gan dao ni de hu xi zai wo er bian
Feeling you breathing into my ears

像微风深情
xiang wei feng shen qing
Just like the soft wind and deep love

温柔的安抚
wen rou de an fu
Gently comforting

我的不安定
wo de bu an ding
My restlessness

所以我要
suo yi wo yao
That’s why I want

每年研究你的笑容
mei nian yan jiu ni de xiao rong
To study your smiles each year
wo~~wo~~wo~~

多么自然
duo me zi ran
How naturally

**forever love forever love

我只想用我这一辈子去爱你
wo zhi xiang yong wo zhe yi bei zi qu ai ni
I only want to use my life to love you

从今以后
cong jin yi hou
From now onwards

你会是所有
ni hui shi suo you
You will be everything

幸福的理由
xing fu de li you
A reason for happiness

爱情
ai qing
Love

是场最美最远的旅行
shi chang zui mei zui yuan de lu xing
Is the most wonderful and furthest vacation

沿途遇经泥泞
yan tu yu ji ni ning
Encountering mud on the way

偶尔阻碍我们的前进
ou er zu ai wo men de qian jin
Occasionally blocking us from going on

感到你的体温在我怀里
gan dao ni de ti wen zai wo huai li
Feeling your warmth in my embrace

像阳光和煦
xiang yang guang he xu
Just like my light

巧妙的熔化
qiao miao de rong hua
Cleverly melting

我的不安定
wo de bu an ding
My restlessness

不可思议
bu ke si yi
Inconceivable

证明我爱你的理由
zheng ming wo ai ni de li you
Proving my reason to love you

多么自然
duo me zi ran
How naturally

**

你感动的眼睛
ni gan dong de yan jing
Your touched eyes

我沉默的声音
wo chen mo de sheng yin
The sounds of my silence

仿佛就是最好的证明
fang fu jiu shi zui hao de zheng ming
Perhaps is the best proof

就让我再说一次
jiu rang wo zai shuo yi ci
Just let me say it once more
I love you

直到永远
zhi dao yong yuan
Until forever

**
forever love x3

1:39 am

Monday, March 10, 2008

imy. it's been so long.

there's a lot of things i miss about you. your smile, your voice. talking to you.

without you, where do i belong?
without you, how can i go on?

11:12 pm

start time: 11.17pm
name: nur syafiqah
people call you: syaf, syafi, fika

THE LAST...
food eaten: rice with black pepper chicken
TV show watched: K-Nite
song heard: Lelaki Ini by Anuar Zain
purchase: hehh. 3 black pens, 1 blue highlighter. now i'm broke.
person you scolded: hehh. i am Dha Peacemaker, remember? i'm the EU.
person you laughed at: siti humaira bte sumri (:
person you cursed: uhh..an ex-political figure in malaysia. shh.
person you miss: unanswerable.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO...
in the next 10 minutes: complete this quiz. diao.
in the next 1 hour: do amath. haha.
tomorrow: i don't know. i never plan my days. lols.
1 year from now: uhh.. schooling?
5 years from now: i'll be..wait.. i'll be 20 going on 21. still schooling, i guess.
10 years from now: host my own TV/radio show! haha.

VERSUS:
style vs substance: substance over style
red vs green: is this a colour-blindness test? red is the colour.
pen vs pencil: the uni-ball Signo Gelstick 0.7 in black, please
heels vs flats: i love both! but for comfort, flats.
soloists vs bands: soloists
watches vs bracelets: i have an ultra-weakness for watches. hehe.

WHAT IS THE PREVALENT...
colour beside you: uhh..black pencilcase. black pens. black ink. black correction tape.
piece of clothing in your wardrobe: blouses and baju kurungS. haha.
artiste in your playlist: lemme see. Agnes Monica, Westlife, Backstreet Boys, Sudirman.
makeup item in your possession: eyeshadows, although i rarely use them

IF YOU HAVE 3 WISHES, THEY'LL BE...
1) World peace. seriously. have you seen how chaotic the political scene is in Malaysia? and then the Obama vs Clinton thing. and then the unrest in Africa. and then those terrorists who misuse my religion for violence.
2) life-long supply of pens. i'll be the happiest person on earth so i don't have to worry about always running out of ink.
3) 5 more wishes

FROM THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD:
country: Italy
animal: penguin
car: volkswagen beetle (but not my dream car)
sun: teletubbies' sun
moon: beautiful and mysterious in its own quiet, subtle way
cartoon character: tom & jerry
colour: brown
money: i'm broke
kids: cutee!! i want 2 of them!
idol: Tyra Banks
phrase: Kasihku.. tahukah kau di dalam hatiku/Tersimpan perasaan cinta nan suci

end time: 11.40pm

11:12 pm

i couldn't really get Dang Ni Gu Dan Ni Hui Xiang Qi Shui by Nicholas Zhang out of my head after hearing my school's soon-to-be ex-VP Mr Koh sing it as his farewell song on Friday. lolS. i think i speak for everyone at Crescent when i say i'm gonna miss him.

and that song is gonna bring in another piece of memory to me

i'm actually quite thankful with the march holiday schedule. i know that my friends are all grumbling that we have to come back to school and stuff. let's face it - we're lucky. other schools really burn the march holidays. (betul tak syafiq? kena 29 jam kat sekolah in total dalam seminggu seyy. kesian2.)

i'm actually looking forward to this saturday, cos it's gonna be the Bash! hehehe. The Glers with the snow in Snow City and the sushi at Sakura. i've already thought of the makeup. as for clothes, well, on the day i'll just pick and wear.

a lot of people have been asking me what do i want for my birthday. to be honest, i'm not in wanting of anything materialistic. seriously. i'm not like dying for anything right now. it's like, whatever you want to give me, as long as it's sincere, i'll like it.

so that's why i don't exactly have a birthday wish list.


if given the chance to really get whatever i want for my birthday, i just want you back in my life.
that'll be the perfect birthday present for me.

2:02 am

Saturday, March 08, 2008

changed my jukebox again. this time round, it's to Utada Hikaru's Flavor Of Life. but no, i'm not being crazy over japanese music - i just happen to like the song.

there is just so much stuffs to think about, and no one to talk things out with properly. like i said, it's not affecting my studies or my life, but it's still annoying.
sometimes, i think i'm pushing myself to tire out asap so i can just head straight to bed. but it's not helping cos it's strenous on myself.
some people say, ignore and avoid. been there, done that. ignorance and avoidance doesn't help at all because once you're no longer busy, you'll think about it.

but then again, have i ever regretted this?
more often than not, i'm just so thankful.
sekurang-kurangnya Engkau telah menghadirkan dirinya dalam hidupku.
as they say it in javanese, kulo tresno.

12:44 am

Friday, March 07, 2008

12:53 am

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Ferind is like my unofficial (and usual) after-school makan buddy! Hahas. it's always fun to go and eat with her - she's crazy both in AND outside of school. to quote vaish just now during bio, "ferind's already insane without getting syphillis".

and apparently we share the same taste when it comes to the makan places - less of the fast food and the restaurants, more to the simple things in life. read: cheap, nostalgic, filling and delicious! so that's where all the Ya Kun Kaya Toast, Ayam Penyet, Banquet (Raffles Hospital and Jurong Point) and company comes in. tbh, i don't really care about air-con and stuffs. open-air is always nice to dine in. heck, if i had my primary school sort of way where me and my friends sneak out during lunch to go the coffeeshop across the street, i'd do it! instead, we have Cheers next door, and no cheap and nice makan places within walking distance. it's pathetic.

anw, both me and ferind are dying for Ayam Penyet, so maybe tomorrow after school pre-CCA we'll head down for to Resto Surabaya or Ayam Bakar Ojolali. yumms! i wanna try something else this time round. maybe a different style of Ayam Penyet? haha.

to be honest, i'm quite tired of having to repeatedly remind people to check whether the eatery is halal or not. i mean, i don't mind pointing out if it's not halal. but if after repeated times, it doesn't stick, it makes me fed-up. the least they could do is to like bear in mind whether the place is halal-certified or not. it ain't that difficult; the place should have the Halal Certificate displayed there for all to see.

but to make life simpler, i've simplified the basic rules of halal food. i don't know. to me, this is completely idiotproof:
1) no pork, no lard
2) meat comes from animals that are slaugthered according to the halal way
3) no wine
4) no animal gelatine
5) no amphibians, or weird animals like crocodile and snake
6) the simplest and most idiotproof way - check whether there's a halal logo or a halal certificate

see? it's so simple. print it out, keep it in your pocket.
or go here and type out the name of the place to double-check with MUIS.
i'm not picky. i'd just appreciate this awareness.

11:51 pm

aku taknak jump to conclusions. cepat menyangkakan sesuatu. kalau ternyata benar sangkaanku itu cuma tinggal sangkaan, 'tanda' itu hanya tinggal harapan yang mendalam.. aku akan kecewa sekali lagi. rasanya, dah cukup kekecewaan aku rasakan selama ni.

aku dapat rasakan jawapan untuk masalah ni ada depan mata aku. aku dapat rasakan mana kunci dia untuk menyelesaikan masalah. terdapat sesuatu yang belum ku ketahui lagi tentang ini semua.

tapi apa?

11:51 pm

11:51 pm

first things first.

why the sudden makeshift poster posting of Mas Selamat Kastari? well...uh... maybe my eyes and Ferind's were playing tricks on us, but i think we saw him. but we weren't sure, and we were like, he ain't limping. so we just brushed it aside. then i came online and jengjengjeng, police became more specific: he only limps while running or walking briskly. maybe it was a wrong person, but that guy sure looked like him.

anyway, like any other normal Singaporean, i want him caught ASAP.

aku betul-betul tak tahu apa yang patut aku buat. entah kenapa tadi hati aku berdegup dengan begitu cepat sekali sejam sebelum kau datang online. entah kenapa.

i know some people are talking about some stuffs.
thanks for fcuking my life up. it's amazing how you can do that when we are strangers. bravo!

but there's just other things in life that matters as well.
so, talk to dha hand.

12:09 am

IF YOU SEE THIS MAN, PLEASE CALL THE POLICE.






JI fugitive Mas Selamat Kastari

Additional info:
- 1.58m
- limp in his left leg is only noticeable when he runs or walks briskly.
- Police believes Mas Selamat is likely to be more active at night.

Police reminders:
- watch out for: any person wearing ill-fitting clothes, avoiding eye contact, or trying to conceal his appearance by wearing a cap, sunglasses or coat.
- trained mechanic, so he is adept at jumpstarting motor vehicles
- could have stolen a knife to arm himself
- report any thefts immediately
- If you spot him, call 999, but do not try to apprehend him.

12:09 am

Saturday, March 01, 2008

last night. during emath. in the afternoon. and at night.

i wonder, is it possible for a broken heart to shatter?

there's something about sitting at the back corner of a class - nobody sees what you're doing. so they don't see you entering emath lesson looking all shattered and broken.
sometimes i'm mad at myself for letting myself fall for you. who am i kidding? you're everything to me. but i'm just another passing figure in your life.

didn't you say that yourself?

it's amazing how i can still be hurt because of you even though you're no longer in my life.

i've kept it all inside all this while. now everything has fallen, i don't know what i'd do.

once is excusable. twice is hurtful.

i can't pretend that everything is all sun and smiles when the dead winter blows in.
i should have known.
i'm nobody in your life.
thank you so much for making me realise that after i fell so hard for you.
i'd gladly give my life up for you.
i couldn't bring myself to try to like other guys cos i always kept you in mind and heart.
so tell me, how do i thank you for making me realise i'm nobody to you?

how do i stop my heart from shattering?

8:20 pm

the one

Nur Syafiqah Ahmad Jaaffar ex-WGPS 6E'04 Crescent Girl's School syaf_316@hotmail.com

be sorted @ nimbo.net

tell me the truth

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