Saturday, January 10, 2009
this blog has moved to:
http://breaking-the-dawn.blogspot.com
9:59 pm
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
this blog has moved. kindly request the add from me.
11:36 pm
Friday, October 17, 2008
i'm considering whether to move this blog to somewhere else.
perhaps i should.
new beginnings call for a new slate.anyway, managed to sneak in about 1-2 hours of crapping with bestie, umai(:
and as usual, our target was.. ahem. u noe i noe we noe who lah kan, umai? hehe.
seriously. it was rubbish, but that's precisely why i love these sessions. we have wild imaginations. no wonder we won the oscars and grammys like nothing. it's a huge relief to be able to sit down and crap in the midst of all these exam preps. i need balance in my life, seriously.
tapi oscar moscar tu semua tak penting kan umai? sebab aku dapat seto aku dan kau dapat joe kau. hehe. moki pun happy dgn kitty. dia tu...uhh, nak aku campak dalam store lagi?
ever since school ended for me about a few weeks back [okay, it felt like i was away from school for 2 months. main thing is, i like being able to wake up at 10+ every single day of my break. hehe], i've been able to find back myself. it took a while. guess that's what happens when you lose yourself for too long.
anyway, i rediscovered what i like, how i like things to be, how i handle things and my view of life just got clearer. i wish i haven't lost myself for too long. okay, now i'm starting to sound like Meriam from the movie Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam 2 - "aku lupa kepada siapa diriku yang sebenar." or like Misha Omar in the theme song of that movie, "diri begini kerna selalu/ditinggalkan marah sengsara/hingga hilang terlupa/siapa aku sebenarnya"
right now i'm trying not to laugh at my nickname back in pri sch. maybe those guys foresaw the connection between that nickname of mine and the movie+song. oh wells.
i finally learnt what was meant as the heart of the cards. it's not just about treating those cards with respect - it's about having faith, trusting and believing in them. these cards are just representative, or more precisely, a reflection of who we are. do we trust and believe in the cards enough to get far, or are we merely dealing these cards for blind ambition? all the same, do we have enough faith in ourselves, or are we merely shaping ourselves in accordance to others?
and no umai, i am not going to buy Ben 10 cards until i know how to play them. apa kata kau belajar daripada sepupu kau main card2 tu, lepas tu kau ajar aku? kalau aku suka, aku beli, aku kasi kau boring main Ben 10. hehe!
Yu-Gi-Oh! Card of the Day: Spell Card: Monster Reborn- return 1 monster from the Graveyard to the hand. Can be Special Summoned to the Field.
* monster reborn(: one of the most useful cards around, and my personal favourite. on a personal level, it's a symbol of revitalisation and revival of what i've lost.
12:56 am
Monday, October 06, 2008
i won't be remembered or missed, so there's not much for me to miss or remember.
due to some binding agreeements made, i'm bounded to some censorship rules. even till next year, i think i'll still be bound to it. i don' t find the idea of a legal suit amusing.
whatever. let me see, what did i plan to blog about today?
out of the four years, i had two forgettable years. by the end of that two years, i already told myself that i only came there to study. and a lot of people tell me those two years are the best two years of their lives. fine. then the next two years came along, and recently finished. it was better and more memorable than the first two years. but still, i didn't come out of it all without a price.
let's face it, in everything that i do, i have to depend on myself alone. it has always been that way. maybe it had to do with me being the eldest. or maybe it simply had to do with what i've went through. i started to realize that i had to grow up in primary four after a certain event. that was when i realized i had to mature if i want to see myself actually move on and become a stronger person.
then i came in to an alien environment. i thought it would rock, or at the very least be interesting. it didn't take me that long to realise that the culture doesn't fit me. to put it harshly, i didn't fit in at all. now you see why there are two forgettable years of my life? got promoted to the senior level. things became better and i really liked things the way they are. then i got myself into some issue that i probably should have forced myself to back out of, but guess i was too gullible to snap out of it. until now, that is.
but like the saying goes, life isn't a fairytale. in fact, fairytale is a whole load of bull by itself because it doesn't make sense at all. things happened, people changed, promises broken. at the end of it all, i find it hard to trust anyone else in my life except for a few that i can count on one hand. i was sick of the lies, the empty promises, the empty support and the betrayals. anyone can come up with an impressive arrangement of words. but the sincerity in the words are shown in the things that are done or not done.
i know nobody's gonna read this, much more care. but if one fine day they're trawling through the web and come across this cos they have nothing better to read, fine. to all those who are trying to fish around for rumours about me or to simply infer from them, i am so sorry to disappoint you; i've cut short your supply. the only recent interesting thing you can talk about is the person i am now.
i've changed. i've had enough of giving in and lowering my pride for the better good of the general public at the expense of myself, letting people take me for granted and chuck me when there's no need for me. to all these people who have played a huge role in turning me into who i am today, thank you. if it wasn't for you people, i wouldn't have come to realize once again that i am left on my own to deal with my own destiny. thank you for making me realise that it's time to stop giving and start taking, and time to make anyone who dare to make use of me pay. thank you for making me realise as well that in this world full of backstabbers, liars, betrayers and traitors, there's no place for the weak.
7:32 pm
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
sometimes i can't help feeling that i'm a different person nowadays. and i don't mean it in a good way.
i'm suffering a burnout.
hurry up and come next thursday.
will it be a bitter goodbye or the sweetest one?right now, i can't give a damn.
8:21 pm
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
came across these three songs on youtube. apparently they were from the Pyramid Of Light movie, but i've never heard these songs before. anyway, these three songs have been my inspiration and helped me pick up my strength recently. maybe it can serve some useful purpose to you readers too.
You're Not MeYou think I've got it all
You think I've got it made well
How come my only friends are the ones I pay?
No one understands
What I would do to change my life for just one day
**Don't say if I were you (say if I were you)
Or tell me what you'd do
Or things would be if
You were in my shoes
Cuz you're not me
You know what I need
And it's not another serenade
I get so tired of all the things you say
So give me what I want
if you only would
I'd gladly throw this all away
**Don't say if I were you (say if I were you)
Or tell me what you'd do
Or things would be if
You were in my shoes (cuz you're not me)
Please take me as I am (take me as I am)
This isn't what I planned
But I don't expect that
You can understand
Cuz you're not me
I know you think you're bein' nice
But spare me all your lame advice
Time to play my hand and roll the dice
Everybody's got their price
For far too long I've been denied
I'm makin' my move so just step aside
No one can say I never tried
To do everything to get back my pride
Hey, you were never me
Why can't you see
That you're not me (me, me, me, me, me, me, me)
**Don't say if I were you (say if I were you)
Or tell me what you'd do (tell me what you'd do)
Or how things would be if
You were in my shoes (cuz you're not me)
Please help me if you can (help me if you can)
This isn't what I planned (this isn't what I planned)
But I don't expect that
You can understand
Cuz you're not me
____________________________________
I'm BackDisappeared
Out of here
It was time to pay my dues
Never guessed
That you'd be dressed
In my clothes and in my shoes
You couldn't wait to move right in
If I were you I'd be concerned
Ain't no way you're gonna win
Betcha didn't count on my return
-CHORUS-
You thought you were so tough
You had it all under control
Now enough is enough
Gonna take back what you stole
{Give it up, 'cause now I'm back}
On my own
All alone
This ain't how the story ends
Now I see
Those close to me
They were just fair-weather friends
You suckered everyone in sight
With promises that fooled them all
You may be top dog tonight
The bigger they come, the harder they fall
-CHORUS-
"For our planet to succeed, Kaiba must be taken out of the picture, permanently."
"You'll never take me alive!"
"Seto Kaiba will bother us no more, hahahahahaha!"
"I'm not going to give up Kaiba Corporation without a real fight! It's takeover time, by me."
"I attack with the Blue Eyes White Dragon
-CHORUS-
"We're going in."
"Big brother, you're here! You're here!"
_________________________________________
One Card Short(first verse)
Life's just a game
We all wanna win
Keep your hand a secret
Unleash the monsters within
Sometimes it's over
Before it's even begun
If someone else get hurt
Then what have you really won
(chorus)
I'm always one card short
Always one day late
For once I'd like an ending
I can celebrate
Stacked the deck myself, so there's no one else to blame
I need just one more move
One final chance to prove...
I can win this game
(second verse)
Life's just a duel
That's how the world is made
But are we all players
Or are we being played
(chorus)
I'm always one card short
Always one day late
For once I'd like an ending
I can celebrate
Stacked the deck myself, so there's no one else to blame
I need one more move
One final chance to prove...
I can win this game
(third verse)
Is what happens next in your control
Are you doing what you want, or what you've been told
Do you choose the cards from your own hands
Or are we all just puppets in a master plan
One more move
(chorus)
One card short
One day late
Give me something
Something to celebrate
Stacked the deck myself, so there's no one else to blame
One more move, I'm gonna win this game
I'm gonna win this game
I'm gonna win this game
One more move, I'll win this game
Everybody celebrate
(second verse)
8:25 pm
Monday, September 22, 2008
about two more weeks to Hari Raya! and indirectly a few more weeks to the O levels. oh wells. i think we're still lucky, okay. so, for all those P6 students who are going to take your PSLE this year (which is kind of right smack in the middle of hari raya) and also to all the Sec1-Sec3 students everywhere, all the best! just get your paper over and done with, and then you all can go hari raya!
and oh, do pray for us as well.since i'm actually in the Hari Raya spirit (ha! i havent even gotten my baju kurung or my shoes or my makeup or my handbag, for that matter. and the curtains aren't even ready yet), i've changed the jukebox to a Hari Raya special. it's my favourite Hari Raya song from the late Sudirman Haji Arshad, my favourite and one of the best singers of all time. so for now, his song will be hitting this blog's airways.
for now, because there are a LOT of songs for Hari Raya. i'm serious. there's about 10 new ones every year. and if you start counting.. fuyohh. i don't think i'll have problem finding 50 odd of them. see? that's why i absolutely love Hari Raya. we have a lot a lot of songs. hehehe.
also, i'd like to take this chance to wish long-time Malay song/lyricswriter Mr Haron Abdulmajid (who wrote the lyrics for the DJKPM song) a speedy recovery. your new song is simply beautiful. the moment i heard it, i felt so touched. we're all praying for your recovery. amin.
and to the rest, don't forget your final few tarawih prayers! these last 10 nights are the most special nights of Ramadhan. belajar-belajar jugak, tarawih jangan lupa haa.
10:04 pm
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Yu-Gi-Oh! rules. seriously. it's one of those little things from my childhood that gets me through some of the toughest things in life. it's not just the anime or the cards. it's what i feel for them.
Blue Eyes White Dragon, the only card that i really cherish. i don't know why but i've always felt a strange affliation to Blue Eyes. maybe cos it's the only card that i can really place faith in. to me it's not just a card - it's special. and yes, if i was really sad, i used to talk to it.
Seto Kaiba, CEO of KaibaCorp (at the age of 18) and one of the best duellist around. the anti-hero-cum-villian in the anime. saves the day but is always trying to beat Yugi. most people see him as stubborn, arrogant, selfish (which he is), heartless, cruel and bossy(which he can be). but for all he's worth, he keeps to his word and knows how to repay favours. he's not evil; he's just... Kaiba. anyway, his holier-richer-smarter-than-thou attitude is usually translated into his sarcastic words that ended up being unintentionally humorous. but he is none of this with his younger brother and only family (they were orphans and adopted by a rich world chess champion who Kaiba defeated), Mokuba. seriously, his brother is his soft spot. he had risked his life and soul countlessly to save his brother, and it's only with Mokuba that we can see the more sweeter side of Kaiba. the pendant hanging from his neck contains Mokuba's picture, and Mokuba has a similar one containing Kaiba's pic. in short, there are only 3 things he care about other than himself: Mokuba, KaibaCorp and Blue Eyes White Dragon.
and obviously, he's my inspiration. why? i like the way he handle stuffs. and also cos of his sense of humour, despite it being condescending always. he's not just cool; he's wayy too cool. even his outfit is cool.
anyway, just to have an idea of how Kaiba's words are:
"If Marik can brainwash people,Joey must have been brainwashed by him to become a mean dog to bite you to death.If I were brainwashed,I would do that." -to Yami Yugi
"I'm not giving up Kaiba Corporation without a real fight... It's takeover time... by me!" (when he discovers Pegasus is trying to take over his company)
Joey: "Looks like a regular old briefcase to me..."
Kaiba: "Its IN the briefcase, you moron!" (when taking out his Duel Disks)
"Just give me one second to pick this lock.." - (to Mokuba when attempting to free him from Pegasus. this part was kinda funny since Mokuba was expecting a hi-tech rescue plan)
"One day we will meet in the arena again, and we'll decide which of us is truly the better duelist, and one of us will walk away with pride." (while apologizing to Yugi about the duel where he threatened to kill himself when he was driven to the edge of the tower)
"If I had a nickel for every time you used the word destiny, I'd be even richer..." - to Yugi
"How sad. You went through all that trouble over some Egyptian Fairytale? I'm surrounded by superstitious nitwits..."
"Teamwork is for boy scouts and nursery school, Yugi."
12:58 pm
Friday, September 19, 2008
this is a special shoutout to one of my besties, Farid!
thanks so much for hearing me out today, and also for cheering me up. seriously, your selamba atttitude is much much appreciated. haha. i realise how much i miss talking to you, dude. anyway, thanks so much for everything rid! kaulah antara sahabatku yang tergerek di dunia(:
in case any of you are wondering, i got back some stuffs today, and somehow some of it weren't exactly things to be pleased about. i was holding on pretty okay, but then i still felt the strong urge to talk it out. so i rang rid up after school and then, rather than being sad, i ended up laughing throughout the whole 15 minutes thanks to rid's selenge-ness. and oh, his story about his O level oral and etc. hahaha. seriously, it's hard not to laugh just hearing him.
and rid, aku janji, nanti raya aku hantar kau kad besar okie? hehe.
10:04 pm
Thursday, September 18, 2008
this is what i want:
Maksim's 6th album!! and why is it Pure II and not simply Pure? well, according to his webiste, contractual problems. anyway, that doesn't matter. all i want right now is to get that album. and oh, he's coming up with a greatest hits soon, so yes, i want that as well.
and before i want this and that, i must be able to find his albums in the shops first. but so far, CD-RAMA at cwp doesn't even seem to carry any of his albums anymore. dude, his music is nice. please please bring his CDs back in.
to be honest, i always view music as a way to escape from reality. or to confront it. but usually to escape, cos when you listen to songs, it's like you get transported somewhere else, you discover another part of yourself and feel inspired. i guess that's why i like maksim's music - they leave me feeling inspired. [seriously people, i'm not that shallow to only like him for his looks.]
changed blogsong again. i opted for Leeloo's Tune this time round cos i think it's simply... beautiful. there should be a better word to describe it rather than beautiful, but i can't seem to find the word. maybe cos when i heard the song, it brings back a lot of memories. sad and happy, happy and sad. i guess this is what you call remembering and missing the wrong things at the wrong time.
to end off this post before D-Day Part 1 tomorrow, i shall include two quotes; one with a reference to my bracketed statement. it's from another guy that i sorely miss, especially in the english footballing world: Mr Jose Mourinho. but he's doing a 'fine' job keeping his mouth shut in italy, so i guess there's no difference there:
"Sometimes you see beautiful people with no brains. Sometimes you have players
who are intelligent, like scientists. Our pitch is a bit like that. From the top
it's a disgrace but the ball rolls at a normal speed."
"If you have at home (cars) 1 Bentley and 1 Aston Martin, if you go all
everyday in the Bentley and leave the Aston Martin in the garage, you are a bit
stupid."
11:59 pm
